I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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