No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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