I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
