my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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