It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
