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your parents love me but you hate me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
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