Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.