he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Someone came in the potted fern
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..