she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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