dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
