all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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