I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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