This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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