I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
