Having a random hookup so left but love u
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So here I am, sexting at work.
Panties = found
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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