Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
