what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The power of my boobs compel you
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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