he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
