I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
