So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
