U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
