if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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