We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
