What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
