Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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