Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we're making bets on your personal life
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
