Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
