He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I need to stop coming to work sober
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
