All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
