her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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