PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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