My first STD was from a foam party
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
