Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
