They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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