Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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