We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
