I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
