so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
