I feel like abortions should bother me more
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
