I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
