Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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