i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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