It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
