so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
