Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
