the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
