it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
dude. I can hear the air.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
