C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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