I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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