Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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