Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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