I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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