thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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