ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize