I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize