just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He? As in you personified your dick?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize