You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
