so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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